


Always

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hospitalization, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Steve isn't too proud to say that he's shaking. Tony's blood is all over his hands and they both know it's going to take a miracle to get him out of this alive, but Steve knows better than to admit that out loud.Still. Tony must see it in his eyes if the gentle hand he wraps around Steve's wrist is any indication.Tony confesses to more than he means to after a mission gone wrong. Steve holds him to it.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	Always

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [ABrighterDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABrighterDarkness/pseuds/ABrighterDarkness) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> For ABrighterDarkness's prompt:
> 
> _"Do you know the last time I actually felt safe, like I do here? Do you? Truth is? Never."_
> 
> Enjoy my dear!

Steve isn't too proud to say that he's shaking. Tony's blood is all over his hands and they both know it's going to take a miracle to get him out of this alive, but Steve knows better than to admit that out loud.

Still. Tony must see it in his eyes if the gentle hand he wraps around Steve's wrist is any indication.

Steve swallows thickly. "Don't, Tony. Please, just. Don't."

Tony closes his eyes, his hand tightening around Steve's wrist. "Or what? Y'gonna—" He stops short, coughing weakly. "Y'gonna put it in your report?"

Steve doesn't rise to the bait. "Clint's minutes out, Tony. Please, just. Just hang on."

Tony shakes his head slightly. Just enough to get the point across. "Can't, Cap. Hurts. 'S too much."

Steve presses down harder on the shoulder wound Tony's sporting. The inside of the suit's a bloody mess, and if he weren't certain that Tony's already lost too much blood he'd be berating the man for continuing to fight in that condition. As it is, though, all he can really afford to do is keep Tony conscious and his spirits up. "I know, Tony, but you're tougher than you look. We both know that."

Tony chuckles weakly. "You trying to get a rise out of me?"

"Is it working?"

Tony hums, but doesn't answer. He just tilts his head back and stares up into the wide open sky. "Shame."

"What is?"

"That I only got to see the stars like that one time."

Steve racks his brain to figure out what in the hell Tony's talking about. When he figures it out, his chest goes tight. "You've got time, Tony. You can see them like that again."

Tony hums, his hand sliding down from Steve's wrist to cover the back of his hand. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"We'll get you there. _You'll_ get you there, Tony, if you decide you want it enough. No one can stop you when you put your mind to something."

Tony laughs, and Steve can hear the blood in his lungs. "Always such an optimist."

"Tony—"

"Do you know the last time I actually felt safe, like I do here?"

The question throws Steve for a loop. "What?"

"The last time I felt safe. Do you know?"

Steve's throat goes tight. He shakes his head.

Tony smiles. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve notices that he doesn't show his teeth in this smile. Like he's trying to hide something. Like he's trying to hide the blood. "You wanna know the last time I felt this safe?"

Steve nods.

"Truth is? Never."

Steve doesn't let himself close his eyes the way he wants to. He doesn't dare.

"You're it for me, Steve. You're the person that I need at my side day in and day out. Alright?"

All at once Steve knows where this is going. It takes all his self-control not to press his hands down harder against Tony's wound. "Tony—"

"So when you get me out of this... _when_ you get me out of this, don't let me off the hook. You're too important to me, Steve, and I'm willing to bet that I'm too important to you."

The strength and poise in those words is enough to tighten Steve's throat. It's too much, too close to what he wants but still so far out of reach, and he can't help but want to cling to it with the sort of useless, fruitless hope that there might be something more he could do to keep Tony safe.

"Don't let me off the hook Steve."

It's only later that Steve realizes that his words had been drowned out by the sound of the chopper Clint was bringing around over them. "I won't, Tony. I won't."

* * *

When Tony wakes, everything hurts. Some part of him longs for the days when he wasn't grateful to wake up in pain. When waking up in pain at least meant he was still alive. At least, he figured as much. This type of pain was a bit too acute and localized to be anything they'd try to put him through in Afghanistan.

As the fuzziness of drugs and pain begins to fade, he becomes aware of something warm wrapped around his right hand. Through the beeping of the heart monitor, Tony turns his head to the side, not as surprised as he might have been to see Steve beside him, head pillowed on one arm and face turned toward Tony. It makes something go tight and warm in Tony's chest to see Steve so open and vulnerable in this moment.

"He was worried." Tony turns to face Clint where he's leaned against the door jamb. "We all were, but he was more worried than the rest of us."

Tony doesn't try to reply. He's been in here enough times to know better than to talk with a throat as dry as his.

Clint seems to have been counting on this. "He's barely slept since we got there to pick you up. What were you thinking, hiding an injury like that?"

_There wasn't any time,_ Tony doesn't say. _I had to keep him safe._

Clint seems to hear him regardless. He sighs. "Idiots, the both of you."

Tony just smiles and turns to look at Steve again. Idiots they may be, but maybe they could be something more now too.

Tony doesn't listen for Clint to leave, too focused on the steady rise and fall of Steve's shoulders where he's slumped on the bed. The movement is soothing, comforting in a way that Tony has long since learned to associate with everything Steve. It almost makes up for the fact that there's more gauze wrapped around his chest than there is any right to be and it's giving him vivid reminders of things better left unremembered.

Steve stirs a few minutes after that, coming alert all at once when he realizes where he is. He whips his head up to look at Tony, who just stares placidly back at him.

"Tony."

Tony smiles as much as he can through the drugs and the pain. It seems to startle Steve into action, leaping to his feet and grabbing a cup of water with a straw and holding it out just in Tony's reach. Tony takes a few obliging sips, his eyes firm and bright on Steve. "Thanks." His voice is hoarse, and the sound makes Steve flinch.

"Tony, I'm so—"

"Don't, Cap. This isn't on you. This is on me. If either of us should be apologizing it's me."

Steve's laugh is labored and aching. "Is that your apology?"

"Hell no. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Steve closes his eyes and bows his head. "Tony. Please."

"My armor can withstand most of what they throw at us. You're flesh and bone out there. If I can protect you, you can be damn sure I'm going to."

"You could have bled out." Steve's voice is wrecked, no hint of anger in the tone. "You could have bled out in there and I wouldn't have had any idea until you were dead."

Tony feels the words in his soul. He thinks of what it would be like to know Steve had run himself into the ground and died without saying a damn thing. It hurts in a way he never would be able to withstand. He swallows. "I'm sorry."

Steve looks up at him. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I'm not sorry I did it," Tony corrects, "but I'm sorry I put you through that."

Steve's lips thin. There's a desperate hurt in Tony's chest, a knowing that could gut him if he wasn't already stitched to hell and back.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry I'm putting you through this."

Steve stares at Tony for a long moment, before letting his head fall forward again and run a hand through his hair. "Guess that's the best that I can ask for."

Tony's throat goes tight. He doesn't have anything more to offer than what he's already given, but he hopes that this is going to be enough. He reaches a hand toward Steve, hand shaking with pain and drugs. "Steve."

Steve looks up. He takes Tony's hand, fingers twining together. "I'm here."

"I meant it, you know."

"Meant what?"

"What I said."

Steve's forehead wrinkles, his mind reaching back to remember what Tony had said on the battlefield. His eyes go wide when the memory connects, and Tony could almost hear the way his heart starts tripping against his throat. "Yeah?"

Tony smiles at the softness in Steve's voice. "Yeah. You're it for me, Steve. No one makes me feel safe like you do. No one."

Steve lifts Tony's hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles. "I'm right here, Tony. I promise."

Tony smiles back, wishing he had the courage to ask Steve to kiss him. "And I'm here too. Always."

Steve's eyes go bright, and he leans over Tony's bed as though reading his mind. He kisses the corner of Tony's mouth. "Always."


End file.
